The idea for Floaty Matt came to one of our designers, Mort Bixby, one night as he lay in bed contemplating our vast universe and his extremely not vast studio apartment. He realized that the only time he used his bed was when he was asleep or falling thereto, and that when he was awake, the bed was just taking up valuable living space. That night he dreamt that a flock of angels descended from on high and lifted his bed gently heavenward while singing in a choir of chipmunk voices. When he awoke, Mort scribbled a single word on the back of a lotto ticket. While the lotto ticket was another loser, the word was a winner. That word was "helium."

Mort immediately told several close friends about a revelatory idea for a helium-filled bed. The project remained top secret while in development, however, for fear that it would fall into the greasy hands of unscrupulous business people, or worse, nefarious Russian spies.

At first Mort was mocked because his idea was so groundbreaking. A floating mattress? The idea shattered convention and rocked logic to its core. People could not conceive of such an invention. But Mort was firm in his conviction, and with time, people have come to recognize the genius behind his vision.

After months of intensive testing involving pool mattresses, monkeys, and several different gases, Floaty Matt is now poised for production. Extensive market research has shown that four out of five dentists surveyed prefer Floaty Matt to sleeping on various other surfaces.

Extremely.

“Would it be”? It will be a piece of cake. We’re utilizing extremely lightweight yet durable synthetic polymers that can withstand the impact of a bullet, and weigh less per square inch than cotton. The best part about this product is the distribution. Since shipping is based largely on weight, and Floaty Matt weighs less than air, we’ll actually be making money on shipping. And retailers can’t wait to get their hands on Floaty Matt because of all the space it saves them on the showroom floor.

The concept for Floaty Matt was initially just a dream to save living space. It wasn't until Mort told a friend—a physics professor—about his idea, that he realized it could physically be realized. The design itself was determined primarily by the physical requirements inherent to the concept—the tare weight of the mattress materials plus bedding vs. the negative weight of helium.

When not dormant, of course, Floaty Matt users are free to enjoy the space liberated by this visionary product. And with Floaty Matt's psi pressure gauge and Feather Bed and "Bouncy Bouncy" accessories (sold separately), sleepers can customize their bed to their preferences. With living space in cities everywhere at such a premium, Floaty Matt is the perfect gift for any style-conscious urban dweller.